Alice didn’t really go to Wonderland

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Archive for the ‘War’ Category

Citizen War Diary May 28, 2012 : from the ashes

Posted by recnamorcen99 on February 19, 2009

It’s been awhile since I put pen to paper. The depression has started to set in. This is the beginning of the end for me. I  have always believed in positive buoyancy of the human spirit. The fact that there exists a bird such as the phoenix leaves me with hope that someday the world will rise from these ashes – to take a fresh stride forward.

I search for heroes….. or let me put it quite succintly – one hero.

I’m too far gone to lay claim to that mantle. Yet – as Moses who led them to the promised land – but could not step there himself, i fight to keep my flock alive.

My flock comprises the 4 children across varying ages, orphans all. They have seen little peace, mostly horrors in one form or another. They are in the age groups of 5 to 13 years. Yet one look at them puts them in a higher age bracket.

Stress, malnutrition, hatred and that constant buzzing in the head will do that do any person.

They have questions which I try to answer from time to time. But their basic question of WHY…. i can never answer…. I don’t know why.

Still they live in hope that a hero will rise from the ashes and take them to another land, like he did in the town of Hamlin… blowing his pipe… leading all the children to a land of peace and plenty.


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Citizen War Diary May 8, 2012 : Descent

Posted by recnamorcen99 on January 3, 2009

Yes – we killed.
I killed for water, food , a bottle of old pepsi, a cigarette…. even the fact that I didn’t like the way the fella was looking at me. It was as simple as that.

I’d read books on devolution – even wondered how far a society could descend into chaos before the arresting wires caught it. I never figured on doing a bungee jump and have the rope come off midway. Yep – pretty scary stuff that.

I figured human nature had humanity as its bedrock. The lord of the flies jolted me a a kid. But then such thinhs never happened to us. We were never left abandoned on a tropical island. It always came to mind that If I minded my own business – things would well enough leave me by myself. But what do you do when they come lookign for you? When all they want is your flesh – because everything else has rotted away. When the will kill you because you are alve rather than something you said/did to affect them as a malefcator.

The more civilized we are – the farther we descend.

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Citizen war diary April 25, 2012 : Flashback

Posted by recnamorcen99 on December 15, 2008

I write this with a slightly stubbed out pencil. Lead is in short supply. In fact there’s a shortage of everything. I tried to get hold of some eggs today – a slightly moulded one which had the look of being preserved for far too long was all I could get. It cost me Ten bullets. The universal currency, is what will save your life – and take another’s.
The war began November 29, 2009.

Actually it had been going on for over 60 years with some bigger fist-fights in the middle. This time everyone had the bomb. So numerical superiority didn’t count for much. The time for a boxing match to be played by the Marquee of Queensbury’s rules was over.

I am not in politics. I am not with the army. I was in fact a businessman working with my Uncle in his business in the field of Medical Diagnostics. We manufactured HIV testing kits – it was the global killer then. Our motto was the preservation of human life and service to humanity, as we earned a comfortable existence for ourselves. Today I try to find life – wherever I can – but only for a conversation -I don’t feel the need to preserve anyone else’s.

Sabre rattling used to be a good sport in the olympics. I think they still have that every 4 years – but I can’t be sure. None of us really came to now the immediate cause of the war. There was no Archduke Ferdinand to assassinate, no Bay of Pigs and no great sociological divide either.

It was about two brothers who had partitioned their property in 1947 and were sworn to destroy each other – Meet Cain and Abel. Their ideologies were different and this was inevitable. Can’t live with each other – can’t live without.

India started the war – this time around, though one may claim that events across the border precipitated it.
We went across on 29-11, into Pakistan and Bangladesh. The Chinese came across on the 1st of December. Events moved very fast as we hit the Pakistani missile nuclear response systems and air force deployment systems. The operation was called “trishakti” – the third arm moving into Bangladesh to stabilize things there and prevent any incursion on that front. I don’t know what the Red Chinese called their attack – but it hit our northern and North Eastern defenses like a tsunami.

No one else came in. The Israelis wanted IN on our side – but their puppet masters held them back. The Americans, Europeans and the Russians watched.Their two biggest adversaries outdid each other in destroying themselves.

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Citizen war diary April 19, 2012 : Wedding blues

Posted by recnamorcen99 on December 15, 2008

Our 5th wedding anniversary

My wife always loved celebrations. She was the brightest star in my universe.
A bright flash – a nova!!

It must have been like the lights of heaven accompanied by the fires of hell. That one fleeting moment – captured it all. It took from me that last quantum of solace that I had available. It brought me down to my knees with my head bent down – wishing I had been with her.

I shudder to think of what happened. At least she did not have to feel the pain for more than an instant as the fireball engulfed millions. A million who died in an instant and more that followed with pain, anguished and melted skin. Generations will remember – if our memory can encompass so much.

I think that many writers tried to put this suffering into words. Most were adept at capturing the macro phenomenon of a nuclear fireball. I am but a solitary figure reaping the harvest of death of those around me.

The pain in the heart dims down like a battery without charge. One nudge and it feels like yesterday – we sat in this room, in this house – rented as it was – going through the rituals that signify a new marriage. We watched my sister get married here, my grandfather died here in the February of 2008. Our children came in in the end of 09 when the war was fresh.

There was fear, trepidation and hope that maybe something would resolve our differences before the world exploded. Maybe a war could solve things. I know otherwise, now!!

Happy Anniversary beloved!!

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